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Long ass day! end of story. Now I'm going to go lay in bed with my monster and watch who's line is it anyways?!
This show always makes me feel better. My back is killing me. Tomorrow is going to be no picnic either.
I have officially had the beast a year...I think. Well it's close to a year anyways.
I want to go camping already. Breathe taking Oregon Coast....I am ready!
I'm seriously in aww with the Oregon Coast back roads and highways. The beautiful
scenery is so peaceful and the smell is amazing. Moving there is in my future.
Very very distant future....but in it none the less. Well I should probably make an attempt to
sleep tonight, I have to get up early!! Damn you Seattle traffic!

Oh wow my back is...just wow it hurts so bad. This will not end with a pretty note.

(no subject)
You are under some huge impression that I actually care anymore. Your opinion means shit in this matter and to me. Grow the fuck up, pull your head out of your ass. Man up and take responsiblility. Leave your hypocrisy out of this. You got what you deserved, you didn't want it that way, maybe you shouldn't have been such a piece of shit. Now I realize where you get it from though, all your immaturity for the situation and childish antics. This goes for my brother and few other people. Got a lovely letter from him today bitching at me for shit that he has done and telling me I shouldn't be made at him for it. Yelling at me for never writing him sooner. I can't get enough of non-understanding people. They seem to be coming in through the fucking windows!!

(no subject)
Making steamed veggies, rice and bread....I don't know why but I'm in food heaven!! Planning on making stir fry tomorrow night after work. I've been craving it for a while. Today has been such a relaxing day. I like it. Nice to have a relaxing evening before the craz of tomorrow.

its funny how "love endures all things" when you aren't the one being fucked over and hurt but instead doing the fucking over and hurting.

(no subject)
So Gza has this new thing where he sleeps completely on me instead of right next to me or on one of my legs. Its so damn comfy! And the fact that it cuts off my breathing and hurts makes it even better. Having a 75 pound dog sleep on me is great, what more could I ask for? I'm so glad he likes me again and forgave me for taking him to the vet. I know he loves me and all, but I really think he could love me a little less. He's squishing me.

I now see where you get your new views from and your hostility. Its rather distasteful, utterly immature and pretty childish. I would understand if you had never treated me like shit or fucked me over, but you did.
Actually I don't even know why I still care.....then again pathetically I do.

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Sitting at the animal emergancy place waiting for Gza. I'm overly worried something worse then I thought could be wrong with him. He's pretty much the love of my life haha and I would be heartbroken if I had to put him to sleep. I've already been told I might have to once before and I don't want to hear it again. I've been sitting here for 30 minutes and it feels like I've been glued to this chair for a couple days.
I'm extremely impatient and it's my huge downfall. I'm impatient and have no self control of it some days. Actually I have no self control of it when I'm being impatient about something I truly care about. It tends to ruin things. Along with the filter I do not have between my brain and mouth most days. Yet its only with certain things that I'm like this....so basically if I care enough about you, you get stuck with the impatient Kali. But you've already figured that out. Haha
I'm having issues sitting still right now. I want my damn dog back already. :(

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Nothing feels right anymore. Nothing I say is kept to just one person, when it's meant to.
Pretending doesn't feel like the thing to do anymore. I'm ready for parts of my old life to come
back. I'm ready for a job and school again.

Got a letter from Jason today and everyone somehow read it before I even found out I had gotten it.
Thank you Grandma for opening my mail. So nice of you to open it then lie about it for no reason. I don't care
that you read it, just shit give me a chance to read it first, it's been a while since I've talked to my "brother". haha
what a joke. Fuck you. You abandon me and Christine, and promised to be there for everything. Fucking liar. You lost
contact when you weren't in jail. But hell I don't blame you, you had nothing better to do then write your little sisters
for once right? After 5 years you expect to just pick things  back up where you left them. Shit may work with Christine but
I'm not buying your bullshit. So sick of lame excusses and broken promises.

I have one of a million job interviews tomorrow. I'm trying but finding a job is hard. Atleast it keeps my head busy, because nothing else seems too.

Today is going to be an amazing day!
Off to the shower!!! Man I really hope theres hot water today ahaha

I'm really worried about Gza. :(
My Mind is currently occupied, maybe come back later and try me.

(no subject)

Pensées lourdes de manquant tu.

(no subject)
If you have any need to contact me, do so on facebook, this, call me or email me. I do not check my myspace, Gavin does for the fact that he uses it to talk to friends back home and such. I use it once and a while to talk to friends that only have myspace but that's about it and rarely.

Facebook: find me
Phone: 15094307828

Anyways, what a shock it's 6am and I'm still awake.....I'm glad to see that I'm branching out and trying something new for a change(sarcasim) Maybe tomorrow I will actually get some sort of sleep. So yesterday I went out with Alan and Terrin to Red Robin when they came into town and that was the highlight of my week right there! I missed them. Lunch was great as well, I honestly haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I literally almost pee'd my pants.

Things are getting hard again. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about it this time....nothing else I do actually works, so why should anything new I try actually take affect?

This is tearing me in two....
I really want to talk to you....see you. I know you don't read this anymore, if you did I wouldn't know anyways. But fuck I hate the feeling of missing you. Especially when I don't know if it mutual. I want you back around. But I'm long forgotten, I'm sure and you won't stop holding this grudge against me, and I've tried so hard to make you see both sides and see that I  actually am sorry, but it's hard when the unwillingly to see just won't change there visions and dellusions.

Anyways, leaving for spokane tonight :) then I get to see my handsome man in a tux! I like the fact the he looks so sophisticated, yet you can still see his tattoo's peaking out, he's also wearing his glasses instead of his contacts :) and oh my my does he look handsome. haha
Watching Good Morning, Vietnam. And hopefully sleeping sometime tonight......but I highly doubt  that will actually happen.

oh lordy, restretched my ears to a 2g today.....and emu oil is my new best friend right now haha and olive oil haha.
I'm pretty damn tuckered out today, but I never seem to be able to fall asleep.
I can now(and have been able to for a long while) function off of little or no sleep what so freaking ever!
It's something wonderful I suppose ahahaha

(no subject)
This is tearing me in two.

Just got a new dress and pair of heels for this weekends formal wedding event in Spokane.
Not excited about the drive, but I'm excited to get to have an excuse to dress up really nice :)
Gavin is going in a tux......and holy shit does it look good on him. If there was ever a person who
can rock a tux with perfection, it's him. I've got this short black, white and greyish dress and greyish 5in heels
to go with is. Thank god Gavin is like 6'5 or these shoes would be a no go. They will most likely be a no go with
my back after a while, but oh well.
As far as health goes, I've been feeling so much better. Like I still hurt a lot often, but I never really feel nauseated anymore
and I can eat without getting to see what it looks like all chewed up haha. My sores are down to about 3 instead of the 10 I started with. Which is a HUGE improvement :) Treatment ends at the end of march and I can't wait.
I have a job interview at the Children's museum and possibly the Co-ops children center. I've had a lot of work with the
buddy club and childrens centers down in tri-cities so hopefully that will help. PLUS I went through a babysitting course when I was 11.....SO I'M GOLDEN! hahaha Lets just hope they don't ask any questions about it because for fuck sake I don't remember a lot of it. So everything is really looking up in certain area's. And I'm glad. I've really been staying focused on what I need to be staying focused on. and Gavin moved in completely thanks to my grandma and he has been working for a while which is good. So hopefully I can start saving money again and move out with the monster dog here in June.